The Alchemist
My Alchemist Essay demonstrates well enough in ideas and content. Most importantly, my writing makes sense and has great examples (quotation, context) that explain the main questions in the essay. In my own point of view, I think that I had a quite well and clearly written topic sentence and I appear to know the topic well. I also included some of interesting and relevant details but because I didn’t make sure to explain them well, it wasn’t that effective to the reader. Last but not least, my lacking part of ideas and content was explaining the quotations relate to the main idea of the paragraph. I didn’t show my full understanding of the quotation and therefore, I think I should focus on this instead of others.
My Alchemist Essay demonstrates organization in a variety ways. First of all, I usually begin the paragraphs with an interesting hook to grab my reader’s attention. I created a void in the paragraphs which means that I left some interrogation behind. However, it seems it wasn’t clear enough that the reader could extract the meaning behind the contents. I think that the thesis statement is acceptable but lack of stability meaning that I tried to make it as interesting as possible and made small mistakes. One thing I did well on is starting off in my body paragraphs. I began with clear topic sentence in my body paragraphs. I didn’t do well on introducing a quotation. I explained them but not thorough enough. Again, I did well on closing the paragraphs with transition sentences. At the end of the essay, I lost track of my main topic and didn’t really narrowed the topic of essay.
Julius Caesar
My Julius Caesar demonstrates well enough in ideas and content. Most importantly, my writing makes sense and has great examples (quotation, context) that explain the main questions in the essay. In my own point of view, I think that I had acceptable topic sentence and I appear to know the topic well. I also included some of interesting and relevant details but because I wrote them with words from the dictionary, I think it has made some misunderstanding to the interesting facts . Last but not least, my lacking part of ideas and content was explaining the quotations relate to the main idea of the paragraph. Although I explained how my quotations relate to the main idea of the paragraph, I believe it wasn’t that clear to the reader because I wrote it based on my point of view which means that it can be inexplicit.
My Julius Caesar Essay demonstrates organization but not well enough to impress the readers. First of all, I usually begin the paragraphs with an interesting hook to grab my reader’s attention with strong vocabulary. I think thesis statement of introduction is explicitly written. I also did well on starting off in my body paragraphs with clear topic sentences. I didn’t do well on introducing a quotation. I explained them but not thorough enough. I did well on closing the paragraphs with transition sentences. However, all two of transition sentences are written in a same structure, so it was not creative as it could be. As I get to the end, I lost track of staying with the topic and I wrote my perception of how astute Antony was.
Personal Growth
In my opinion I saw a improvement over my essay, however because we got a second chance to rewrite the essay, I got better grade on the Alchemist essay than Julius Caesar essay. In term of writing skills and structures I got vast changes because I used my Toefl idioms as well as strong vocabularies. I also found out that I need to seek for help if I’m not clear with my choice such as choosing the quotation, I think I used my time wisely on asking those questions. However, because I’m still learning English as a second language, I need some more practice on explaining quotes with appropriate vocabularies.
SLR
The SLR I chose for my essays was reason critically because I had to give evidence for every statements I made. Another reason is because these essays were mainly focusing on analyzing one person’s life and one’s acts.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Antony the Closer
“Cry havoc and let slip the dogs or war, that this foul deed shall smell above the earth with carrion men, groaning for burial. Antony is burning with revengeful thoughts towards the conspirators who killed his pitiful lord miserably. He is no longer a confident and devoted supporter of Julius Caesar who always flattered to Caesar; on the contrary he is now a horrendous Roman seeking for the ways to kill those conspirators. Despite the conspirators were outnumbered than Antony but he was noticeably high in intelligence and flattering skill. The reason why Antony didn’t despair of his future was because he had patriotism and respect to Caesar and the Rome.
Antony was not described as a patriotic man until he spoke out in front of all the Romans. From the Antony’s soliloquy, it shows how much he grieves for the death of Caesar because he just lost the key, which is the most authoritative way to make Rome a wealthy and peaceful world. If he only thought about his lord, Caesar was innocence, he would not have used his great intelligence to falsify that he is a friend of conspirators. ‘Woe to the hand that shed this costly blood!.... Domestic fury and fierce civil strife.’ From his soliloquy, it seems like he conceives about the Civil War just to pay back for Caesar’s death but it also implies the meaning that he must raise an army to kill the rebels, for the future’s good of Rome. This quote explains how patriotic Antony is because in his speech the Civil War would be a war against the people who just tried to ruin both history of majestic Rome and the public of Rome. It shows how much Antony cares about the Rome. “Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears” The next evident reason is in the speech to all the crowds, which are Romans. He uses the ability of a speaker to convince an audience of their point of view. So, by sating friends, Antony is saying we are close enough to share this idea of how Caesar was assassinated, and as Romans an countrymen, they all should know how brutally those conspirators killed our great Caesar, which is extremely dishonorable. This clearly shows Antony is a patriotic man because coming towards the crowd and has no fear to be the leader of the deathly War is not just as easy as anybody think of. Without patriotism, this can never work out because only having a truthful patriotism will then give the grandest braveness and intelligence. His patriotism played at fair deal in his motivation of taking revenge to the conspirators, but it would never have been achieved if he had no respect to Caesar.
Showing respect to mighty Caesar, Antony clamors that he will make up his mind to revenge for the assassination of his lord although he knows it risks death. that he will Antony used to be always by Caesar’s side when Caesar goes outside and attends him every moment. For Antony, Caesar was like his only true buddy who can be trusted with no fear. However, as his lord was assassinated by intriguer, he shows his respect to Caesar by assuring he will soon take revenge to the intriguer. It is really obvious that Antony is truly respecting Caesar because he plotted the revenge taking risk of death. “Oh pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth, that I am meek and gentle with these butchers.” In this quote, Antony asks for forgiveness that he was weak, not showing braveness to challenge then why they killed Caesar so savagely. It shows that Antony respects Caesar because he even asks for forgiveness for not fight for him but which was necessary in order to survive from the chaos around him. “I thrice presented him a kingly crown, which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious and sure he is an honorable man.” Pg 134 line 95 This quote is really significant because it carries two major things. One of then is that Antony is now elucidating that Caesar wasn’t ambitious man. Second evident thing is when Antony says Brutus is an honorable man which is in fact he is dishonorable. So, at the same time, Antony respected Caesar and taking revenge for Caesar. Without his intelligence, he might have never thought of it.
In short, there is a vast change in characteristic of Antony. As he concludes that the conspirators must me executed ruthlessly, he also concludes that he will fight until one’s side defeat. Patriotism and respect by his side he acts like true Roman who wishes the Rome to be a better country. With his patriotic mind and respect to Caesar he easily captures all the Romans’ mind by his side. And therefore, he finally defeats the conspirator which signifies that he accomplish his goal. The reason why he could have defeat them easily is because he was faithful to himself, believing that he can to what he have chosen to do as long as he is with the Romans. Last but not least, his act was really fantastic and worthy because he uses all of his values in a clever ways such as flattering Brutus to get a chance to go out to the crowd and announce what happened. Also, by using his magnificent way of convincing the crowds, which he then caught Romans attention and support. His tactics was way too thorough that even defeated the conspirators.
Antony was not described as a patriotic man until he spoke out in front of all the Romans. From the Antony’s soliloquy, it shows how much he grieves for the death of Caesar because he just lost the key, which is the most authoritative way to make Rome a wealthy and peaceful world. If he only thought about his lord, Caesar was innocence, he would not have used his great intelligence to falsify that he is a friend of conspirators. ‘Woe to the hand that shed this costly blood!.... Domestic fury and fierce civil strife.’ From his soliloquy, it seems like he conceives about the Civil War just to pay back for Caesar’s death but it also implies the meaning that he must raise an army to kill the rebels, for the future’s good of Rome. This quote explains how patriotic Antony is because in his speech the Civil War would be a war against the people who just tried to ruin both history of majestic Rome and the public of Rome. It shows how much Antony cares about the Rome. “Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears” The next evident reason is in the speech to all the crowds, which are Romans. He uses the ability of a speaker to convince an audience of their point of view. So, by sating friends, Antony is saying we are close enough to share this idea of how Caesar was assassinated, and as Romans an countrymen, they all should know how brutally those conspirators killed our great Caesar, which is extremely dishonorable. This clearly shows Antony is a patriotic man because coming towards the crowd and has no fear to be the leader of the deathly War is not just as easy as anybody think of. Without patriotism, this can never work out because only having a truthful patriotism will then give the grandest braveness and intelligence. His patriotism played at fair deal in his motivation of taking revenge to the conspirators, but it would never have been achieved if he had no respect to Caesar.
Showing respect to mighty Caesar, Antony clamors that he will make up his mind to revenge for the assassination of his lord although he knows it risks death. that he will Antony used to be always by Caesar’s side when Caesar goes outside and attends him every moment. For Antony, Caesar was like his only true buddy who can be trusted with no fear. However, as his lord was assassinated by intriguer, he shows his respect to Caesar by assuring he will soon take revenge to the intriguer. It is really obvious that Antony is truly respecting Caesar because he plotted the revenge taking risk of death. “Oh pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth, that I am meek and gentle with these butchers.” In this quote, Antony asks for forgiveness that he was weak, not showing braveness to challenge then why they killed Caesar so savagely. It shows that Antony respects Caesar because he even asks for forgiveness for not fight for him but which was necessary in order to survive from the chaos around him. “I thrice presented him a kingly crown, which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious and sure he is an honorable man.” Pg 134 line 95 This quote is really significant because it carries two major things. One of then is that Antony is now elucidating that Caesar wasn’t ambitious man. Second evident thing is when Antony says Brutus is an honorable man which is in fact he is dishonorable. So, at the same time, Antony respected Caesar and taking revenge for Caesar. Without his intelligence, he might have never thought of it.
In short, there is a vast change in characteristic of Antony. As he concludes that the conspirators must me executed ruthlessly, he also concludes that he will fight until one’s side defeat. Patriotism and respect by his side he acts like true Roman who wishes the Rome to be a better country. With his patriotic mind and respect to Caesar he easily captures all the Romans’ mind by his side. And therefore, he finally defeats the conspirator which signifies that he accomplish his goal. The reason why he could have defeat them easily is because he was faithful to himself, believing that he can to what he have chosen to do as long as he is with the Romans. Last but not least, his act was really fantastic and worthy because he uses all of his values in a clever ways such as flattering Brutus to get a chance to go out to the crowd and announce what happened. Also, by using his magnificent way of convincing the crowds, which he then caught Romans attention and support. His tactics was way too thorough that even defeated the conspirators.
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